Creating Connections In Your Interview: Tips From FBI Expert Negotiator

Connecting with an interviewer goes beyond just answering questions—it's about building rapport and establishing trust, and Chris Voss, a former FBI negotiator, offers some powerful techniques to help you do just that. Here's how to apply some of his strategies to connect with your interviewer:

• Use Tactical Empathy: Chris Voss emphasizes the importance of tactical empathy—understanding the emotions and perspective of the person you’re talking to. In an interview, listen actively and acknowledge the interviewer's point of view. For example, if they mention challenges within the company, express understanding and share how your skills can help solve those problems. This creates a sense of connection and shows you care about the organization’s needs.

• Mirror and Label: Mirroring is a technique where you repeat the last few words your interviewer says, which encourages them to elaborate and provides more information. This can help you build a deeper understanding of what they’re looking for. You can also label their emotions to demonstrate empathy, such as, “It sounds like the team has been facing a lot of challenges recently." This technique makes the conversation more collaborative and comfortable.

• Ask “How” and “What” Questions: Instead of asking yes/no questions, Voss recommends using open-ended “how” and “what” questions to foster discussion. For instance, ask, “How do you see this role impacting the team?” or “What would success look like in the first six months?” These questions invite the interviewer to share more about the company and the role, which shows your genuine interest.

• Calibrate Your Tone: Voss often talks about how tone can influence negotiations. Similarly, in an interview, your tone of voice can help create a positive connection. Maintain a calm, confident tone to build trust, but be sure to modulate it depending on the conversation. If the interviewer brings up a difficult topic, adjusting your tone to one of understanding can help diffuse tension.

• Use the Power of Silence: Sometimes, the best way to connect is to let silence do the work. After you’ve answered a question, resist the urge to fill every silence with more words. This allows the interviewer time to reflect and shows that you're comfortable with pauses, which can make you come across as thoughtful and confident.

By applying these techniques, you can connect more deeply with your interviewer and create a stronger, more collaborative dynamic during the interview. Ultimately, these strategies help you not only stand out as a candidate but also build a relationship that could set you up for success in the role.